Honeys, I’m the queen of denial. I knew my marriage was falling apart but refused to deal with it. My only daughter was pregnant but I didn’t see it until, well, she was in labor and about to deliver. Why would diabetes be any different? There are not enough fingers and toes to count the mind tricks I’ve played with myself to sabotage any effort I should make to remain alive and healthy. Would you like to read a few?
- I can’t eat that food. The food was either boring or tasteless in my mind. I focused on what I couldn’t eat and had disdain for the food I should eat.
- I don’t have time for… Name something good for me and I didn’t have time for it. Exercise, monitoring my blood sugar, eating well, resting.
- I can treat myself. The problem was that I was ‘treating’ myself all of the time. Every time I saw a cookie or some cake or wanted some of my fried chicken, I ‘treated’ myself.
- I don’t need anyone to know. I figured if I didn’t tell anyone about my diabetes, I could do what I wanted without interference. I most certainly didn’t want to be treated like an invalid.
- I feel just fine. Any time I sabotaged myself I thought because I felt good that was reason enough to not take my meds on time or eat right or take care of my body.
One of my biggest tools of denial was constantly saying ‘God will heal me.’ Well, it was God who got me to the doctor in time not to lose my limbs, my eyesight and avoid a coma. God gave me everything I needed to live and I chose to be in denial.
You know you can run out of excuses, right? I sure did. If that last child of mine, Leesa, isn’t reason enough to be healthy, I don’t know who or what is apart from me just wanting to live and live well.
I took the time to learn how to cook foods in a way that works with this diabetes. I make time for exercise, eating well and monitoring my blood sugar levels. I treat myself every time I choose to eat well and right. I need everyone to know about this diabetes from my family to you to the people in a restaurant, so I can live. And I feel just fine when I do all that I need to do to manage this disease.
Diabetes is no lightweight foe. You have to combat it; go to war with it to have a healthy life. It begins with your thought life. Watch what you tell yourself and choose to believe.
Take care of yourself!